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Saturday, February 6, 2010
life as it is ; 5:44 PM
assalamualaikum
sneaking in this short entry before major updates, in a few days time.
how much fun do you have to be in to claim that you have lived your life to the fullest?
how much energy have to be taken off from you to know that you are living your life and definitely not wasting any seconds of what you are left with.
or do we measure 'life to the fullest' with how much we've achieved throughout the years?
crawling back home at 3am literally drained from every energy you have and falling back on your bed sleeping the mornings away and waking up and repeating the whole cycle of fun fun fun and more fun, how much life can we actually get out of this?
or do i have to fill up this page with thousands of photos to literally show and proclaim that i am living my life
or maybe i should learn the 'art' of facebooking and start superpoking people or whatnots what? vampire? give a hug? i dont know all this f.book. now is that living my life? or friendster? i dont know.
do i have to show/write out the fact that everyday i am living my life? i mean its okay right if i dont? what do i lose if i dont blog about who i went out with? who im with right now? who what where how why? its okay right? its not about personal/ private matters that im not sharing it with the world. i do i do tell the close ones about whats happening everyday in my life. and i love sharing it with them. it doesnt make me less of an interesting person just because i dont blog much about personal stuffs right? or maybe i dont even blog that much now.
i dont know for now. but i am sure that i am learning to live my life, not to the fullest for now but yes, i am enjoying my life right now. the simplest joy that i can ever ask for.
i really dont know much
but i can tell you right now i have wonderful wonderful family and friends/bestfriends/girlfriends/schoolfriends who have been with me throughout my life and i love them so
much. and i appreciate them being there for me and watching me grow up.
and i make it known to them that i do care so much for them because what the world needs right now is l.o.v.e from everyone.
i love the fact that i talk, i talk alot to people around me and with that i learn alot , i gain more than i can ever ask for. friendships and two cents worth of thoughts. and life lessons. and the fact that i am beginning to love the ambiguity of life.
and how its forming around me.
and yes, the fact that i end my day/nights with hugs from the people i last meet everyday. and yes, the fact that i have time for myself to learn to love myself even more.
and the most important fact that i love is that i go home most nights with my heart at ease and i can fall asleep easily and push aside all my worries and just climb to my bed after a really good shower and end the night with a good book/dvd/movie/tvshows or perhaps a good convo with someone via the msn/phone/sms.
or that i flip through photos and smile to myself because i get reminded of the so much fun i had that day with my loved ones. even if the photos were taken so long ago. and that i get reminded of good ol' days
and that im learning to cope with days that are just my off days. i do have terrible days where i dont end my nights with what i said in the prev sentence. and i still do get heartaches and get all crushed up because of unexpected things that fall in my way. and when these days happen i do cry myself to sleep at night or even cry my walk back home. i do get all sappy listening to sad sad songs. i still fear so many things in my life. some days my self esteem get so low that i prolly just want to stay home the whole day. and much much more terrible stuffs. and these days dont just happen for one day, sometimes it lasts for weeks. some nights, it still hurts a lil that ive lost some people in my life and everytime i think of them the only thing i can do is just wish them well. and i do get lonely days/nights where you feel so miserable that you have to go through such agony. but its ok right? we all go through this right?
and lastly, this girl that i am
i still have alot to discover about myself and with the much stuffs that have been happening this past few years, ive learned to love and hate some things/qualities in me. and i am learning to be a much better person that i was yesterday to finally say that i have lived my life to the fullest. and the mystery word alongside L.I.F.E would be L.O.V.E. who knows what these two words actually mean. most dictionaries are prolly wrong when it comes to these two. what life and love can do to you.
alot more years to come, expect the unexpected coz the unexpected is what makes life worth living.
true?